(WARNING! This was actually my first post ever but I accidently republished it and now it looks recent. And there is no undo button whoops!).
From the title above anyone reading this will know what I’m about to write about. Everyone’s been there the fear of regret, indecision, and being absolutely lost. Choosing a career choice is hard. Even now that I have entered into baking school I do not feel completely tied to it. Sure I love to bake, but it’s not the only thing I want to do the rest of my life. I am striving to fill my life with things I enjoy to do, to surround myself with unending happiness and positivity. I know there is going to many days in my future that will be rough, but that is ok. It is okay to not feel okay and have a bad day sometimes. At the end of the day I know things will work out how they are supposed to. To start off this blog I shall begin to explain my cosmetology school horrors. If by any chance maybe someone is reading this felt, or is feeling the same way I did while I attended. It all started the year I graduated from my local high school, I had felt at the time that beauty school was going to be my thing and I was determined to go. Soon it was a month away and my daily walks started to fill with anxiety and regret. Me cut hair? No chance that’s going to work out well. My stomach ached and my head reeled with painful emotions. I felt as if my mind was spiraling out of control and I had no way of stopping it. With all this on my shoulders, finally I spoke to friends and family. All of them reassured me it was just nerves. The first day of school finally arrived and I was late the first day because I took the wrong road and got lost. Looking back now I should have noticed the big neon sign that was my answer to my indecision, but alas that is life. Even as I type, I remember the pain and disappointment I once felt. At the time I struggled because people did not understand and because I wished more than anything that I fell in love with doing hair. I kept going though. I spent countless hours trying to figure out if I was just intimidated or maybe I did not like the school setting or if I was just over-tired from school and work on the weekends. I wanted it to be my passion and I wanted to make it my career but truth be told, I felt like a round peg trying to fit myself into a square hole. I wrote pro lists and con lists which were not really necessary because I had a never ending tape of them playing in my head. It was torture! How could I not like this? There was not even a flicker of a spark of passion for it. Yeah, facing the music and finally giving myself permission to walk away from school was pretty hard for me. Decisions are hard and confrontation and quitting is even harder. I want to be happy, and life is too short to spend time anywhere that makes you anything else. I know that now. Right now as I type, I’m doing a happy dance and wondering why it took me this long to figure it out. I understand that not every day is going to be sunshine and rainbows; but I also believe that you can do as many things as you want with your life as long as you try. During my lunch hour at school I would go out to my little red car, sit and talk the entire time to my good friend, Sierra. She was truly the only one who really got it and understood exactly how I felt. Her advice was a great influence on helping me make my decision. Even back then, three years ago, she spotted my love of baking and helped plant the idea in my head. At first I was a bit hesitant to accept that as a possible career choice. All my mind could drift to was all the worst possible outcomes. The thought of diving into a new school frightened me. I was afraid I would end up hating it once again and wasting more money. It is like trying to skydive, I needed the will power and motivation to see that’s what I wanted before I could make the leap. For the next two years I worked and accessed my options. During the course of those two years I spoke with a local bakery owner and she encouraged me as well in all the benefits and happiness it could bring me and others. Finally I made the decision to re-enter school and further my knowledge of baking and pastries. Having finally decided on what I wanted my career to be I was quite excited. The spark that I tried so desperately to feel for cosmetology, was instantly there for baking. Finally I had found where I fit in. At the end of the day, I am way happier that I tried beauty school and walked away then never trying at all. I gave it my best shot. I am allowing myself to figure out what it is that really makes me happy. So I am putting a big scratch through hairdresser, and adding baking queen, blogger, cosmetic addict, movie lover, book reading wizard, fashion obsessed and all around a happy individual to it. I was so very grateful to the people that cared and for them taking the time to give me their loving care and advice. Through them and this situation I have learned a lot of things. It is OK to make a mistake and that not all mistakes signal the end or are wrong necessarily. I now try to look at them not as negativity, but more of a learning experience. Trying out new things can be a great experience and sometimes it doesn’t work out how you want it to. I now know that it will all be okay. It is OK to take a different path. It is OK to be exactly who you want to be. To end this first blog session I should probably entail to you what this blog shall be filled with. Cosmetics is what I collect so I shall be reviewing and showing you affordable steals, and who doesn’t want to that?! Book, and movie reviews, fashion details and outfit ideas, and even a little life and advice thrown in for fun! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Have a lovely day and a good night.