After her mother’s death, she wasn’t terribly too sad, but at the same time she was because she didn’t understand why this all happened and why her mother hated her so much. Her mother left her barely anything after her death, but her brother made sure she got half of everything. I thought that was nice of him but at the same time he was part of all this trouble. No phone calls, letters, emails and visits. She wouldn’t have known that they spoke if they did, but he chose the path of completely disconnecting. Now after 30 plus years he wants to get back together and reconnect. Which sure, thats all good and i’m glad she can have her brother back. But when she asked her brother why her mother hated her so much, and why she hadn’t wanted the family at all apart of their lives his words disgusted me. "I know why, but we won’t be talking about that, must leave it all behind us". How disrespectful is that? To know the reason of this and to put control over it because he doesn’t want to talk about it. Disgusting. He wasn’t the one left in the dark for thirty years, not knowing. His children were able to grow up with family and grand-parents, he wasn’t hated or told his father was alive when he wasn’t. So the fact that he knows why and is withholding it, disgusts me to no end. He wants control just like his mother did. Either that or he is just a whimp and it makes him uncomfortable. But life isn’t always comfortable. Instead of trying to get to the bottom of it, she did what he said. They talk on the phone, write, text and even visit each other now. I still haven’t seen him since I was a child and I am not eager too. I told my mother the other day how disrespectful that is of him to with hold that from her. She never got to heal from all this, and never will if she never knows.Healing is the most important aspect of getting over hurtful things, I know that all too well. Its still a bubbling cauldron pot and one day it will boil over, unless he tells the truth. I wish I could write the point of view from her brother and why they did this to my mother, but I can’t because I don’t know the answer. I know there will be a day that I will have to be in the presence of her brother and his wife again, but I will not until he tells my mother why. If it is hurtful and he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, she doesn’t care. Thirty years of silence and hateful words from her mother was enough. The only true way to get better is to talk about things and find a solution. If he cares about her he will. But from my point of view he doesn’t. Family should be there for you, not making you feel lower then the ones that are agianst you. As Tim Ferriss said:
" What we fear doing most is usually is what we most need to do".